The process of asking questions is of paramount importance to Reform Mormons. We believe that all questions are valuable. Most questions ask some form of “what?” and deal with facts and figures. More challenging questions ask “how?” and “why?”
Some people believe that exploration by asking “why questions” is a waste of time, and they become uncomfortable when these type of questions are asked. Some people demonstrate their discomfort after a single question has been raised; others develop this discomfort when too many questions of this type have been proposed.
People who are uncomfortable with questions are uncomfortable because they are afraid. This may seem odd at first, but when you analyze it, it becomes apparent: their aversion is driven by something uncomfortable to them. The more you study this reaction from others, the more you will realize that what they are afraid of is: not knowing the answer. They are afraid that exploration of an answer will lead to new questions for which they lack a response. It is not primarily the fear of having the wrong answer; if they have any answer, be it wrong or right, they are more comfortable in providing that answer than simply saying “I don’t know.” Most people don’t like to give a wrong answer to a question, but they find that vastly preferable to having no answer at all.
People feel that not having an answer is terrible. Many LDS feel that they have been given special answers to questions with which the rest of mankind struggles, so they particularly do not like the feeling that they don’t know something. We feel that not having the answer may make us seem stupid or less knowledgeable than perhaps we should be. People do not like to feel this way, and they attempt to avoid the feeling.
Others sense that some answers might threaten something they believe, or the set of particular answers that they, at this point in time, hold as “true.” People do not like to feel threatened any more than they like to feel stupid. Some people who feel this way will often insulate themselves from what they perceive to be a threat by declaring that they cannot be threatened. They will insist that no question could ever threaten them, for they have the necessary answers that will protect them from feeling uninformed (again, it is the lack of an answer that seems the most fearful.) Yet as questions are asked, they tend to become defensive, suggesting that they do, in fact, feel threatened.
You have had discussions with people who will answer a question with a truth that they declare to be “final”. Sometimes the declaration is made with such bravura they do not seem afraid at all. They feel that they know the answer to the question unequivocally and declare their answers to be unquestionable in the matter. Their fear will manifest only when you ask more questions about their “final answer.” These “final answers” are not supposed to be susceptible to more questions – after all, their answer was supposed to be conclusive, both as an answer and as a conclusion to the questioning process – so more questions appear threatening. We will discuss “final answers” more in a moment.
Sometimes these people intimidate those who would ask more questions. They feel that if they can convince someone to ask fewer questions, or to stop asking questions altogether, that they will be better off because the threat will end, and their fear will end. You already know that fear is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience, and people will go to great lengths to avoid it. So, if they are fearful because they feel threatened, and if they feel threatened because someone is asking them questions, then a quick way to end the fear is to cause the person asking the questions to stop.
The tactics used to accomplish this are varied. If you have ever asked questions of someone and experienced this intimidation from another person, you understand how powerful the tactics can be, and how they can effectively silence your questions. The tactics usually involve suggesting something that will cause you to fear instead of them. Perhaps you recognize:
- “Don’t ask so many questions. It’s boring.” (So, you stop asking questions because you are afraid of appearing to be boring.)
- “Your questions suggest a lack of faith.” (So, you stop asking questions because you are afraid of what others might think of you if it appears that you don’t have faith.)
- “These questions are going nowhere” or “that is just the way things are.” (So, you stop asking questions because you fear you have created a sense of futility in yourself or others.)
- “Some questions only God can answer.” (So, you stop asking questions because you feel that the answer can come only from God, and that, at least right now, he will not impart this answer to you.)
- “Exploring the mysteries will get you nowhere.” (So, you stop asking questions because you’re afraid that you might ultimately encounter questions that cannot be answered – because the answers are not meant to be known.)
- “That’s for God to know, and us to find out.” (So, you stop asking questions, because you’re afraid of appearing to offend God, who designed things such that you can’t get answers right now, and you’ll just have to wait until later to get them.)
These statements and their thousands of corollaries are tactics of fear, used by people who are fearful. The use of the tactic by another person does not invalidate your questions. The tactic is meant only to stop you from asking questions, or pursuing answers. These tactics are meant to shut you down by suggesting that there is something of which you should be fearful. In reality, there is nothing you should fear, but you may not realize that yet.
You can ease your own fear by remembering that God does not fear questions or answers, because he is omniscient – he possesses all knowledge. Any question or answer imaginable is already possessed by God. For God to fear questions and answers he would have to fear his own knowledge. It would make no sense to us that God would be fearful of himself. Other people may use these tactics to halt your questions, but God never will, for God is not afraid, and God does not want you to be afraid.
If the glory of God is intelligence (and it is), and God is eternal (and he is), then seeking after intelligence will be an eternal prospect (it is). The most basic, fundamental and effective way to obtain intelligence is to ask questions. We know this from our children, and it is institutionalized in our schools, universities, and seminaries. We even practice this process directly with God, when we pray.
People will try to stop others from asking questions because they fear not having an answer. Sometimes they will use the tactic of delivering a “final answer,” suggesting that their answer is absolute and complete, and that further questions in the matter are unnecessary. These people do not understand a great truth:
An answer to a question must lead to more questions.This truth is what makes the process eternal. If the answers do not raise more questions, then the answers would seem complete, and the appearance of completion slows progression. “Final answers” are only a method of slowing you down.
You will always ask questions. You will always receive answers. As a result of those answers you will always ask more questions. It is an eternal process. How did we ever convince ourselves that it would be otherwise, that we should stop with certain answers?
Some people have learned that taking the time to master this process is extremely worthwhile. They’ve learned that it facilitates and enhances the acquisition of knowledge eternally.
That’s not to say that it doesn’t take some practice and skill. Just as any learned ability is acquired through trial, error, and patience, so the development of this skill requires some patience.
For example, as you learn to pursue questions, their answers, and more questions, you may become frustrated when it seems that the new questions raised by an answer appear to merely “loop back” to the original question. Some people begin to think that re-encountering the original question means something went wrong, and they become consumed with trying to avoid questions and answers that might precipitate the return of the original question – like trying to avoid an old enemy. They begin to feel that if the old enemy returns, they have merely tread previously walked paths that lead in a circle – and returning to a point where they have already been seems like a tremendous waste of time!
Here is another great truth:
The question >> answer >> more questions process is circular, but it is an upward spiral.The upward movement is progression.
In life, if you are unaccustomed to a process, it can often feel frustrating until you learn the process and become familiar with it. We may sometimes discover multiple answers to a single question – so we must choose which answer we intend to pursue, and occasionally that choice may lead us back to the original question.
If you are someone who becomes frustrated when you find yourself returning to the original question, then stop asking questions for a while and rest. As we know from experience, not all answers come immediately – the same holds true for multiple answers. We also know that as we learn how to perform a process, we often must “take a break” to let our minds assimilate that which we have learned, and to let our bodies recover from strain. If you feel too strained or frustrated, rest. When you are ready, ask other questions. The original “old enemy” question will return for you to explore when you have gathered more information from which you may be able to choose new answers that take you in new directions.
If you are someone for whom this frustration merely excites your sense of challenge and discovery, then continue pursuing knowledge and answers until a pathway out of the loop is discovered. However, remain cognizant of the fact that rest is important, and that there are times when you must stop asking questions to let your mind and body assimilate and restore. Sometimes your way out of the loop appears only after such rest.
Provided that you are appropriately resting yourself and others, never end the process simply because you feel that the answers lead back to the original question. Something incredible happens when you refuse to stop this process: you realize that returning to the original question is part of the process. Over time, you come to understand that the additional knowledge you have discovered while working your way back to the original question was the purpose of asking it in the first place. As you ask the original question again, the additional knowledge you have accumulated will help you discover answers that will take you in new directions: but the original questions, the ones we will come back to again and again in our lives, will forever propel us forward. The knowledge and wisdom we gain in exploring the answers and questions that lead us back to the original questions are what we are seeking.
This is extremely important: we are not merely seeking answers, we are seeking new knowledge. We question so that we can receive an answer, so that we can question again. We will not always receive the same answer to a particular question, however, every question/answer experience provides new knowledge for us, and by using this method, we are continually accumulating new knowledge.
Soon you will lose your frustration in encountering the original question. You will realize the value of seeing its return. You will welcome it like an old friend, because you will realize that it has become a faithful companion who has helped you grow. Instead of merely tolerating it and its lack of a specific answer, setting it aside to not “bother” you, you have actively used it to gain new knowledge. This new knowledge is a combination of choices, facts and experiences, and it cannot be provided by merely absorbing a written set of details – it is only gained by choosing, asking, receiving, choosing, and asking again. After you have completed this cycle for a time, you will look back on your new knowledge and marvel. You will understand why God wants you to experience this increase.
This view of questions and answers can be very different from what we normally experience in life. It is something that stretches us, and assists us with confronting things we feel we must pursue in order to grow. You can begin to see how someone who is comfortable with this process would learn to welcome unanswerable questions, not avoid them. People welcome joyful experiences, even if they are occasionally frustrating, or require trial and error.
Some of the most unique and rewarding information and knowledge you can encounter already lies very close to you; it is in the minds of those you love. You can start the process right now, with those around you. You can develop your knowledge by going to schools (wherein you will find that your most joyful classes will be ones where they follow this process, and the most joyless classes will be the ones where they don’t). One of the greatest ways to acquire knowledge is to read. Seek out books. Subscribe to periodicals that will feed your interests. Surf the internet with intent, when you won’t be distracted. Rest when you need to, but never stop the process. This worldly knowledge can be very satisfying, and you will never run out of it. However, it is not as ultimately satisfying – as joyful – as the spiritual knowledge that is received only by communicating with loved ones, friends and family. Over time, you will begin to feel that you are further up the spiral than when you began. You will have actively contributed to your progression – you will have enriched your experience here in unbelievable ways, now, and for the future.
This process seems very simple. It is. You mastered it a long time ago (think of the child who keeps asking “why?”) but over the years, and thanks to the fears easily transferred between people, you may have shelved it, or discontinued its use. You no longer need to suppress this skill; in fact, the time has come for you to re-engage it, to restore your freedom and desire to use it, and to enhance the progression that this process initiates and stimulates.